?

She remembers it all,
All the people who had said
They cared, but did they really?

She remembers it all,
The sound of laughter and
How happy she'd been, but was she really?

She remembers it all,
His arms around her and
He said "I love you," but did he really?

She remembers it all,
The pain she'd felt when he left,
How her heart ached, but was it really?

She remembers it all,
The feeling of being so alone,
The feeling no one cared, but did they really?

But now they'll remember her,
Staring at the knife in her hand
How easy to slit her wrists, but will she really?

Mental

I AM MENTAL
AND SO IS ISHAAN.

psychology

"Boring boring boring" This famous statement defines any class. It zoomed in my mind like a ticker on mtv,repeating itself over and over again.

Its just the beginning of summer and I'm already sweating like I ran a 20 km marathon,which is absolutely impossible by the way,but the heat is getting on my nerves ,making me irritable and scary. F and I trudge towards the most boring class of the day-psychology. Sleepy and barely awake we enter the dimly lit class and make ourselves comfortable in the last bench which was abandoned,surprisingly and inviting.

With a vacant expression I stare at our teacher who was quite animatedly and enthusiastically teaching us
" behavioural aspects" in her mallu accent,which is really funny. I try not to laugh and concentrate on drawing a circle. F beside me cracks up loudly and  imitates her,I started giggling too,helplessly.


After a while I tune out the teachers voice and check my phone for something to do,while F listens to the teacher giving her "normal examples" (stud macha examples). My mind wanders and I remember my marks card,I pull it out and stare at my atrocious marks. From being an 80 percent-er I've stooped low to....never mind.
Insulted and determined to study I look up at the teacher and gaze at the notes cast on the wall by the projector. I squint and try to focus but its all just a blur. Giving up I remind myself that I need binoculars not spectacles and slip into a world of dreams waiting to be woken up by the loud shrill bell.

silence

Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl
It feeds on loneliness and creates a void
Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture
A teenager is stricken and destroyed

There is no sound of laughter or happiness here
The little one has thrown in the towel today
Sombre, melancholy moods decay the soul
It is futile to hope and dream and pray

Emptiness builds a home in this woman
In this girl, this child where hollows have bred
A deepening sea of nothing consumes
And eats away at every connecting thread

Confusion feeds like a savage inside her,
Leaving nothing considered worthy remains
Destined to walk through life less ordinary
Alone, exiled, different and disdained.

Raindrops!

Looking in your eyes
I feel myself falling in love with you
You said I love you
And I said it too

We went to our very own special spot
For no real reason at all
We sat and talked and looked at one another
And then the rain began to fall

We could have left just as quick as we came
But no, you wanted to stay in the rain
You asked me a question I'll never forget
"Have you ever tasted the raindrops?"

I looked at you funny and you gave me a sigh
The cutest look, as I wondered, why?
Why, did you ask me to taste the rain?
Well, what did have to loose or gain?

I watched you with a careful eye
And did the same as you
You were looking up at the cloudy sky
But my eyes were stuck on you like glue

I lifted my head to look at the sky
And closed my eyes really tight
Just as I thought I'd caught a raindrop
You suddenly held me tight

I opened my eyes with slight alarm
As you kissed me soft and sweet
I remember that kiss like it was yesterday
I still feel those raindrops on my cheek

I tasted the raindrops like I never had before
It was worth every second of bliss
Every time I think of that moment
I think of my raindrop kiss

We sat close together on that one special rock
And we held each other tight
Then almost as suddenly as it came
The sun came out from beneath the rain

The most beautiful colors I've ever seen
Came out on the western sky
The sun was setting and the moment was perfect
More than any money could buy

As the sun slowly set and the sky lit up
You began carving our names in our special rock

I told you I would never forget this moment
In my heart this memory is locked

As our names were finished and permanently engraved
We watched the sun finish its day
And watched the moon dazzle..

My Star

Thinking. Can't stop thinking.
Think of you. This. That. That Life. That day.
That dream was mine.
A utopian dream.

Your aura; struck me like lightning to a tree.
Pointy, like a star, you shone.
So bright, yet not shining as a star would,
But as apparent as white chalk on a blackboard.
You would not show off like a star.
Yet you did burn so hot, so fiercely, so explosively -
you were a star in my eyes.

But like all stars, you died.
That gas was gone.
No pull between us.
The atmosphere was dry
and I began to choke.
I was taken from my star - like a child being taken from its poor,
mother - I did not know what was happening.
Dazed. Confused. Without true reality, I there sat.
Wondering.

The end of my world had only just begun, with yours beginning.