After Life

For hours she had lain in a kind of gentle torpor, not unlike that sweet lassitude which masters one in the hush of a midsummer noon, when the heat seems to have silenced the very birds and insects, and, lying sunk in the tasselled meadow-grasses, one looks up through a level roofing of maple-leaves at the vast shadowless, and unsuggestive blue. Now and then, at ever-lengthening intervals, a flash of pain darted through her, like the ripple of sheet-lightning across such a midsummer sky; but it was too transitory to shake her stupor, that calm, delicious, bottomless stupor into which she felt herself sinking more and more deeply, without a disturbing impulse of resistance, an effort of reattachment to the vanishing edges of consciousness.
     The resistance, the effort, had known their hour of violence; but now they were at an end. Through her mind, long harried by grotesque visions, fragmentary images of the life that she was leaving, tormenting lines of verse, obstinate presentments of pictures once beheld, indistinct impressions of rivers, towers, and cupolas, gathered in the length of journeys half forgotten-through her mind there now only moved a few primal sensations of colorless well-being; a vague satisfaction in the thought that she had swallowed her noxious last draught of medicine . . .At last even these dim sensations spent themselves in the thickening obscurity which enveloped her; a dusk now filled with pale geometric roses, circling softly, interminably before her, now darkened to a uniform blue-blackness, the hue of a summer night without stars. And into this darkness she felt herself sinking, sinking, with the gentle sense of security of one upheld from beneath.

She stood, as it seemed, on a threshold, yet no tangible gateway was in front of her. Only a wide vista of light, mild yet penetrating as the gathered glimmer of innumerable stars, expanded gradually before her eyes, in blissful contrast to the cavernous darkness from which she had of late emerged.
     She stepped forward, not frightened, but hesitating, and as her eyes began to grow more familiar with the melting depths of light about her, she distinguished the outlines of a landscape, at first swimming in the opaline uncertainty of Shelley's vaporous creations, then gradually resolved into distincter shape -- the vast unrolling of a sunlit plain, aerial forms of mountains, and presently the silver crescent of a river in the valley, and a blue stencilling of trees along its curve -- something suggestive in its ineffable hue of an azure background of Leonardo's, strange, enchanting, mysterious, leading on the eye and the imagination into regions of fabulous delight. As she gazed, her heart beat with a soft and rapturous surprise; so exquisite a promise she read in the summons of that hyaline distance.
     "And so death is not the end after all," in sheer gladness she heard herself exclaiming aloud. "I always knew that it couldn't be. I believed in Darwin, of course. I do still; but then Darwin himself said that he wasn't sure about the soul -- at least, I think he did -- and Wallace was a spiritualist; and then there was St. George Mivart --"
     Her gaze lost itself in the ethereal remoteness of the mountains.
     "How beautiful! How satisfying!" she murmured. "Perhaps now I shall really know what it is to live."
     As she spoke she felt a sudden thickening of her heart-beats, and looking up she was aware that before her stood the Spirit of Life.
     "Have you never really known what it is to live?" the Spirit of Life asked her.
     "I have never known," she replied, "that fulness of life which we all feel ourselves capable of knowing; though my life has not been without scattered hints of it, like the scent of earth which comes to one sometimes far out at sea."


By,
Rohan

A Dream

When the pressure on his throat released he fought the urge to kick straight for the surface. He could still see her and wondered how it was he could see tears flow down her cheeks.
He pushed up and he thought he heard her singing,the light sweet voice of this childhood. When he looked back he saw the beams of this light spear out from the bottom,arrow to her so she was illuminated in his shaft.
and he watched her fade away like a dream..
Breaking the surface,he sucked his air that burned his scored throat.  Sunlight sparkled in his eyes,dazzling them and through the roaring in his ears there were voices calling his name..
Through the dazzle,he found L standing on the verge,a hand pressed to her belly,on the wrist of that hand,ruby hearts glittered like hope.He swam through the lillies towards her,swam away from death towards life.
The sun filtered throught the leaves of sycamores and oaks and cast pretty pattern of light and shadows on the green on the grass.On the branches birds sang filling the balmy air with music.

He took her shoulders,turned her toawrd him,toward the sunlight. He took the ring out of his pocket,slipped it onto her finger and lowered his lips to hers.

With their hands clapsed,they walked away from death,into love and life.
No one sang there,but its gardens bloomed.


By -
C

Melt Away..

A candle flickers softly,
Somewhere out in space,
Shedding light upon the world,
Yet I am held in darkness's embrace,
I struggle to break free,
Of the chains that bind me to this life,
Yet I am bound forever,
To walk in endless strife,
My emotions flood around me,
Swallowing me in their depths,
Yet my heart's an empty shell,
There is no feeling left,
My body is numb with the pain,
Of endless indecision,
I don't know what's right or wrong,
I don't what I'm missing,
I walk only to be lost,
In the changes that come,
While everyone else finds their way,
In the cold that leaves me numb,
I seem to be always alone,
No one there to whom I can confide,
I'm trapped in this pain,
But it's the only place I can hide,
I want to run free,
To laugh and dance and sing,
Yet my life is not my own,
I'm bound on puppet strings,
I try to make every one happy,
Because I love to see them smile,
Yet nothing goes right,
It backs fires with every trial,
The pain I feel is brought on by me,
It's only in my mind,
But why does it seem,
Pain in my heart is what I find,
I guess I'm just delirious,
No one else feels this way,
But I just wish...
Things could go right for just one day,
A day when every one smiles,
When pain is never felt,
A day for joy and for life,
When death is never dealt,
But that day will not come,
Because all I can do is cry,
Hoping my pain will melt away,
Or that I would die.

Perfection

You are
Perfection
Personified.

Tall, lithe
Strong and sure,
You move
Beautifully:
Muscles flexing,
Long fingers reaching,
Each part coming together
In glorious harmony.

Your eyes burn
With something
Undefined.Passion .
Anger.Love. Patience.
A mix I cannot
Fully grasp.

You are sublime:
Intense, resplendent;
Your passion
Almost cruel
In its magnificence.

I close my eyes
And feel your stare.
Intense, compelling –
Fathoming secrets
Fears and yearnings
My soul dare not reveal.

I see you move,
Your hands
Reach out.

Then I imagine
That you have
Come for me.
As Eros
Came for Psyche.

And as reality
Intrudes,
I smile
To myself.
Wistfully.

About to Crack

You can't explain it,
What it is or how you obtained it.
It's just there,
Eats away at you until you're full of air.

Worthless,
Is this how you want to exist?
You don't know how to put what you're feeling into words,
You struggle just to divide it all up into thirds.

What is all of this and why is there nothing to do about it?
Your mind, body and soul are all one empty pit.
So you'll lie in bed for hours to come,
To this you have succumb.

Forget about everything else in your life
You're being stabbed repeatedly by this large knife.
You try to just get up and go,
But you're tugged down, part of a big puppet show.

Why can't you just get your life going?
You're desire to be here is quite the opposite of growing.
Why are you frozen in place?
Where is that someone or something to fill all this empty space?

The only people you've found have made this gaping whole larger,
They've loved you, held you, then torn you apart.
Was this their goal straight from the start?
Do they want to see you fall to the ground?

Because when you did they weren't around.
You've tried so hard to get back up
But what's the point in trying so hard
Just sit here and curl up.

Hold your knees to your chest,
The pain is too much.
Squeeze your sides
Until everything in you collides.

You can't take it any longer,
You need to be stronger.
But instead you sit here looking for answers
Late at night, you'll stay up forever
Why do you get nothing out of this endeavour?

What is this space you can not seem to fill?
The most painful emptiness, it could kill.
Where it came from, you may never find out.
You are so empty, no breath to shout.

Scream out your pain from the lungs that you lack
Let everyone know you're about to crack.