the start

I moved carefully,like someone had switched me 'on',but had set my speed at slow.I went into the bathroom and meant to get straight into the shower,but my reflection caught me,and I stopped,staring.I had turned into a familiar stranger again.I looked pale,but I had bruised looking circles under my eyes.My eyes looked huge and unusually dark.The silver of the chain and the ruby pendant around my neck caught the light and gleamed.
"why?"I whispered.
I didn't expect an answer,and none came.So I got into the shower and stood there for a very long time,letting my tears mix with the water and the blood wash down the drain.